I was party to an interesting debate the other day. A friend of mine who had been in a bad relationship said “99.9% of all men cannot be trusted.” I don’t usually like general statements like that. I believe you should not generalize. The world is made up of individuals that cannot be put into convenient categories. It is not possible nor is it right to label people.
I believe that labeling people merely limits our understanding of them. If you walk into a relationship with a preconceived notion of how that person is, you rarely see past your own misconceptions. First impressions are the hardest to change and therefore have to be made with care. It is utter stupidity to dismiss someone based on the way that person looks or dresses. The truth is that many of us, myself included make split second judgments of people we have just met. That split second assessment is rarely correct. We can delude ourselves that we are perceptive. Many of my friends pride themselves on the imagined ability to assess someone at a glance. All they are doing is putting a label on them based on assumptions. Once the label is in place, it is virtually impossible to remove and therein lies the mistake. The person they have ‘assessed’ is not given a chance.
Meeting someone for the first time is a daunting prospect especially if it’s someone you want to make an impression on. It doesn’t get any easier either. I know how it is with me and I cannot speak for anyone else. I break out in a cold sweat and I agonize about what to say and how not to appear a complete moron. There have been occasions where I have jinxed myself. I agonize about what to say and how to say it and end up being a complete robot. If this isn’t an isolated example and I am hoping it isn’t, then there are people out there who have doomed themselves simply by being nervous. Who is the loser in scenarios like this one? Is it the person who makes a bad first impression and forever doomed to wear the label stuck on him by the other person? Or is it the other person, the one who has made a split second decision, possibly losing out on a good friend?
In my opinion, the loser will always be the hasty uncompromising person. We live in a world of contradictions. Simply because a person is uncomfortable in a social situation does not mean that they are uncouth. Simply because a person prefers casual dress does not make them a hippie. Slapping labels on people is very easy. In my opinion though, it deprives us. It deprives us of the opportunity of forming a lasting friendship. So go on give people a chance. If you leave your mind open, people will surprise you.
Just Me.