Birthdays

My birthday came and went almost a week ago now and I am still feeling the effects of it. I do not know when exactly the melancholy kicked in. Was it when I woke up and felt alone? Was it when I went about my day alone, whiling away my time before the birthday dinner? Was it the day itself when I thought about how life has passed me by? I'm a year older and what have I to show for myself? Was it when my aunt called to wish me a happy birthday and then choked on her tongue when she realised my age?

Truth be told, I am not too unhappy with the way things are. Maybe that is the problem. I am content. Although complacent would be a better word for it. I am not where I want to be but I don't know where I want to be. I am constantly hoping that the right thing will come along and but despite my talent and skill (which are more than adequate) I have find myself in this stagnant pool where I've lost my motivation, I'm constantly looking to escape my responsibilities and more often than not, find it in frivolous things.

The truth is, there is no better cure for lethargy than hard work. The problem is inertia. A body in motion wants to stay in motion and a body that is not in motion wants to stay still. Enough with the procrastination, I have decided that I will buck. I know age is but a number on a card somewhere, I know I have skill and talent and intelligence to spare. I have decided that until I find my passion, I will work at whatever comes my way.

Hopefully I will find my passion before work bloody well kills my soul.

Just me.