TTT

I have just attended a Train the Trainer programme. It is something I consider a starting off point for a career in training. I am unsure whether that has been the case. I find myself strangely dissatisfied. I am thrilled because I am by far one of the best presenters in the class and it has been a great boost to my confidence level. I know that I am one of those people that need outside validation. I need to be told that I am good. I know instinctively that I can do this and that in fact I am good at it. Still, I crave validation. Outside validation was the reason I attended this programme. I find this happens wherever I go. I am always a head and shoulders above everyone else, yet I am far outstripped by them in achievements. Is this because of my arrogance in assuming that I am good? Or am I being lead down the garden path by those around me? I can't handle constructive criticism and I distrust any positve feedback. I have always known that I am a mass of contradictions but this is becoming too many contradictions even for my split psyche. So here I am in a a training session designed to imrpove my ability to train others. I am receiving the outside validation that I crave, yet I distrust it because it feels too good to be true. Honestly being a head and shoulders ahead of the others in this group is nothing because they quite frankly suck. So the question still remains, "am I truly good or am I just relatively good?" Just Me.