Mugged

I went to the bank that was right around the corner from my home. It was late but I'd done this a thousand times before with no incident. This time I was not so lucky. I was getting into my car when I heard a shout. I made the mistake of turning and I already had one foot in the car. He ran at me and grabbed my handbag. I held on to it but thenI saw the knife. As much as I wanted to hold onto the bag I did not want to risk it. He grabbed the bag and cut the strap and he was gone. Running off into the night. It was 2 minutes from start to finish. I lost my wallet containing my credit cards, my atm card, my identification card, my driving license, my mobile phone, my brand new digital camera plus a bunch of cheques. It was one hell of a night. I can't get the face of the fat son of a bitch out of my head and I desperately want to put this behind me. Being as firm a believer in the law of attraction as I am, I do not understand how this happened in the first place and I do not want this miasma of negative energy attracting more 'bad luck' my way.
Ironically, had I been the person I was a year ago, I would have fought back harder. I had nothing to lose back then and no knife would have deterred me. The last year has been a turning point and I didn't want to risk being injured but really more importantly being disfigured.
I am upset. I have searched my feelings and I think I am most upset because of the way I reacted or didn't in this case. I have always prided myself on my street smarts, I have always prided myself on my spacial awareness. I have always believed that I would react better in this situation and I would handle myself better and that no pathetic knife wielding punk of a man would ever get the better of me. I behaved in the exact opposite manner. I screamed, I hung on to my bag ineffectually and I got mugged. I could have kicked him away, I could have shut the door on him, I shouldn't have turned when he yelled, a million things I could have done and yet nothing changes the fact that I behaved appallingly. I was the epitome of damsel in distress. It is a stereotype that I hate and I hate that I embodied it today. Once I'd cancelled my cards and my phone and my atm card, I am ashamed to say that I was actually in tears. So now I'm ashamed. It's another dirty little secret to add to my laundry list of dirty secrets. If I ever see the little fucker again I will fucking cut his balls off! I want my camera back goddamnit, it was brand new!
Fuck what a night!
Eshwari