The Laptop Saga

Let me tell you about my birthday gift. First off, I don't usually make a big deal about my birthday. I try to pay as little attention to it as I can. There have been years when I try to forget it altogether. This year, what with it being the big 3-0 and me not being where I want to be career wise, I was quite content to simply let this birthday pass on by unnoticed.
My mother has always given me a birthday present and for the last five or six years or so, it has always been jewellery. I was expecting something of the same this year.
Suddenly this year, she decides to give me a laptop. This is the story of that gift.
Now, let me lay the background for this tale. My laptop dies on the service desk sometime in November of last year. Luckily for me, my sister had left her laptop here in July when she went to study in India. So I used her laptop. She came back for her holiday in December and once again refused to take the laptop back. I must say that Shameni's - my sister - laptop, an Acer had a minor problem. The battery would not charge. It was not a problem for me of course as I used the laptop at the desk. Now in the intervening time between January and March, my mother made my sister a promise to get her a new laptop. After waiting an eternity, Shameni decided in March that she wanted a laptop. So I placed an order for a Dell laptop on the Dell website and told my mother about the awesome deal I'd secured which was to run out on the day before my birthday. So, at the last minute on the eve of my birthday, my mom says to me "Go ahead, place an order, for another laptop because that is your birthday present." I was overjoyed. Anyone who has known me in the last few years will know that I am inseparable from my laptop. It is my lifeline and my original idea was to get myself a new laptop once I started a new job. This offer from my mom couldn't have come at a better time. It was too good to be true. Too late I remembered the adage "if it's sounds too good to be true, it is." From this point onwards this essentially simple transaction became a series of almost comedic disasters.


DISASTER 1


Neither my mother nor I have a credit card. I was also unaware at the time of the other methods of payment which were available. So our solution to the problem was to use the credit card of a friend of ours. We pay her the money, she enjoys the bonus points, it was a win/win situation. So armed with Angela's credit card details which were read to me over the phone, I placed the order. However, she had transposed two of the numbers on the card. Dell called her and sorted it out so were at peace. Disaster 1 was averted.


DISASTER 2


When I placed the order for my sister's laptop I asked her to message me a colour preference. The Inspiron 1420 model I was purchasing comes in 8 colours. I never heard from her and I chose a colour that looked alright to me on the site; Flamingo Pink. When I told my sister, she had a minor hissy fit. My mother too chimes in at this point telling me I shoul have orderd the Midnight Blue. I thought the Blue looked drab. This disaster was avereted only because my mother decided to give me a laptop. So while the first laptop was pink, I placed an order for the second laptop which was to be blue. Disaster 2 averted.


DISASTER 3


Dell calls me to tell me that Angela's credit card has exceeded her limit. So I called Angela who was perplexed as the only purchase on the card was the initial laptop, so she calls her bank. The bank tells her that Dell swiped her card twice for the initial purchase. I was livid! I called Dell and yelled. They checked with their finance office and told me that they have only received one payment. So I called Angela and relayed the message and she called her bank. According to her bank, there had been two swiped of the card but only one had been confirmed, leaving the other transaction pending. Instead of doing the simple thing and simply cancelling the second transaction, Alliance, Angela's bank, gave her the approval code and told her to get Dell to cancel the transaction. (Yeah coz' that makes sense! Give the Vendor power over the purchasers credit card.) Anyway Dell calls me back up to say that they can't find the transaction. By this point I'm fed up with this whole three ringed circus. I tell Dell to call Angela and have them sort it out. What do they decide? They blame Citibank which is Dell's bank and the only unrepresented party in this mess. (This is the reason everyone needs a lawyer.) So what solution do they come up with? They cancel the second transaction. I suggested it FIVE phone calls ago...but hey what do I know, I'm only the actual customer! Of course by the time this is decided, it's 6p, pm Friday and Dell doesn't open past office hours or weekends. So Ihave a weekend to wait before I re-order. Disaster 3 averted.


DISASTER 4


Over the course of the weekend, I find out that my sister wants a larger screen on the laptop. The Inspiron 142o that I ordered has a mere 14.1 inch screen. Of course screen size was not even a consideration for me. However, my sister tells me, as she is going to use the laptop primarily as a glorified DVD player, she would have preferred a larger screen. I tell her its a done deal and its too late to change her mind. She quietens down. Disaster 4 averted.


DISASTER 5


My mother overhears the conversation. She asks me what the problem is with the Acer that I was currently using. There was actually nothing wrong with the Acer except that the battery wouldn't charde. It was in fact ideal for my sister as it had a 17.1 inch screen. My mother then comes up with the brilliant idea to have the Acer repaired for my sister and having only one new laptop. I didn't see a problem with that as it meant I wouldn't have to go through the whole drama of re-ordering the second laptop. All this was of course hingeing on my sister's agreement. I leave the business of telling my sister to my mother. She as the one who instigated the whole laptop buying spree and also the one to come up with the laptop repairing idea. This is the moment I was hit with an overwhelming sense of foreboding. Still at this point,I thought fifth disaster averted.


DISASTER 6


My sister arrived the same day as the laptop. My mother has not told my sister that this laptop is in actual fact mine. My sister is overjoyed at 'her' laptop. I am seething away as I wait for my mother to tell my sister. She never does anything. I ask my sister if she would take the Acer if I had it repaired for her; she says "Not now that I have the Dell!" Still my mother says nothing. I am absolutely livid! There isn't a second laptop coming and this laptop supposedly belongs to both of us because my mother is too spineless to stand up to her youngest. Frankly I'm not too upset with my sister either. I mean I am a little annoyed with her wanting the laptop to merely watch movies on but I still can't blame her. She's been quite content to either a) leave the Acer here; or b) have it repaired. I t was my mother that instigated the whole buying a new laptop thing. I was perfectly content to use the Acer and purchase a laptop when I got a job. Again it was my mother who instigated the whole new laptop thing. Finally I decide that I would just stick to my original plan and buy a laptop once I started working. I finally convey this to my mother at as normal a volume as I can manage. It took some doing not to do it with my hands wrapped firmly around her throat. To top it all off this catastrophe, she blithely infoms me that she wasn’t going to get into the middle of this and that I should simply sort it out with my sister. I wanted to scream. She started the whole mess. She stirred us both up with the whole laptop fiasco when the both of us were perfectly content with the way things were. Then, having stirred the pot, messed things up, she calmly steps aside and says ‘I had nothing to do with this.’ Bart Simpson has nothing on my mother. Luckily Shameni saw the wisdom of taking the Acer. Disaster 6 averted.

DISASTER 7

The Acer did not return from the shop in time for my sister’s return to India. So the pink laptop that was initially meant for my sister, ended up with my sister. I write this story with in book with a pen the old fashioned way as I await the return of the Acer. My birthday present turned out to be a massive case of ‘It’s the thought that counts.’ I had a brand new laptop for a full two weeks and really looking back at the chronicle of events surrounding its purchase, I am surprised, no shocked that I was even allowed to hold on to it for as long. There was a catch to this brand new laptop, however. I am an afficianado of Second Life as my previous entries may suggest and this spanking new laptop didn’t support SL. Apparently as spanking new as it was, I didn’t yet have a graphics card that supported the graphics of SL.

Throughout this episode in my life, I finally learned that if something is too good to be true, it usually bloody is, even if the deal comes from your mother.

This is where the story ended when I wrote it in my book. However, things have progressed from then. Since then, the Acer was returned but unrepaired as it turns out that whatever was wrong with it was beyond fixing. Then, despite the fact that when I sent it in for repairs it was working perfectly well, after I picked it up, the keyboard no longer functioned. So back I went to the shop and these guys swore up and down that they didn’t touch the keyboard side of things and that there was no reason why it should suddenly stop working. He tried replacing the keyboard and nada, not a single sign of life.
I was at my wits end, till my father says, that since I was promised a laptop for my birthday I will receive a laptop for my birthday and to go ahead and place the order. He then informs me that I shouldn’t have given the other laptop to Shameni because he never agreed to buy her a new laptop! I don’t know why this even came as a surprise to me...considering the way my mother plays fast and loose with the facts.
So I type this now on a brand new laptop that supports SecondLife and is Ruby Red in colour. This one I know I’ll hang on to for a long time, simply because of all the trials and tribulations that went into obtaining it.
Just Me.