CONCLUSIONS

Solitary confinement is a cruel and unusual punishment. 

Let that sink in a minute. 

I grew up watching movies like Shawshank Redemption and even movies as recent as Ocean's Eight referenced solitary confinement. It turns out that the silver lining from the pandemic lockdown is the discovery that solitary confinement amounts to mental torture. People across the world that are sheltering in place, are experiencing the effects of solitary confinement. 

Imagine my surprise when after being told this fact, I make the secondary discovery that I am experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from solitary confinement!

No, I have not been in solitary confinement. Let me qualify that. I have not been in physical solitary isolation. However, I have been in solitary isolation inside my head for my entire life. Hence, the PTSD. It is galling to discover that I have given myself PTSD. 

How did I do that? 

I don't fit in. After years of trying to fit into family that don't understand you, friends who think you odd, society that derides you for failing to conform, I looked for somewhere to hide. My elegant solution was to create a little cell block in my head and confine myself to it. 

I used it as a survival mechanism and it worked for a good long while. However, I have the time now to exit survival mode and thrive. 

So I shall leave you with this:

Forgive yourself for the things you did to survive. Get better, be better, get healthy. 

Just Me.